i was just thinking

"i was just thinking" is a little column that i put in my newsletter every month. it's mostly things that God has been teaching me recently. i decided to put this one on here just because, well, just because. i'm a girl; i don't have to have a reason :) i added a little more to this one because i don't have any space restrictions.

for those of you who get my newsletter (oooh, i sound official!), then this is a repeat. sorry.

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if you’ve ever seen the movie Facing the Giants, you know that it’s a movie that tells of God’s faithfulness and willingness to reward those who praise Him in easy and difficult times. it’s predictable and the acting is not superb, but the message is powerful. my favorite scene is not the end where you see how God has blessed grant taylor, his wife, and his football team. it’s not the scene where he goes out into the field and tells God that win or lose, his team will praise Him. my favorite scene is the one in which the football player, brock, does the death crawl (yeah, it’s as bad as it sounds). he goes the length of the football field, from end zone to end zone, with a 160-lb. football player on his back and blindfolded. he didn’t think he could do the death crawl for 30 yards. but the whole time, his coach, grant taylor, was right by him, encouraging him. when brock couldn’t go any farther, his coach told him, “just 30 more steps; just 20 more steps; just 10 more steps…” until brock finally collapsed. when he took the blindfold off, he was in the end zone. how did he get there? it came from the constant presence, encouragement and guidance of his coach.

when i watched this movie for the first time, everything was going great. i couldn't figure out why i love that scene so much because my life was just peachy. but while the scene was playing out, tears were rolling down my cheeks. less than two weeks after that, things started changing. it started out with one thing that just completely blindsided me. the next month it was something new. the next month, the same thing. i have to be completely honest and say that my initial reaction to all of this was not good at all. i was angry, hurt, upset, confused, and did i mention angry? oh, i was livid at some of the things going on. it was like i had completely forgotten that i had a heavenly father who was waiting for me to take all of this to Him. such lovely character traits, yes?

but God has a way of making you deal with your own stuff even when you don't want to. in that time, three amazing friends asked if they could pray for me. without knowing any details, they took my requests to God. there is nothing so humbling as having your own friends pray out loud for you. my family, with all their crazy, loud, and uniquely hernandez ways, helped me without even knowing it. there finally came a point where i surrendered everything to God. and wow, He has blessed me in spite of my relunctance to go to Him in the first place. and even though i don't have all the answers now, God has given me a peace because i have chosen to trust in Him at all times. looking back at the past few months, i see God's faithfulness all over the place.

a couple of weeks ago, i watched facing the giants again with my family, and when that scene came up, i had chills all over me. i finally figured out why. it's a beautiful picture of what God is doing when we struggle under the weight of our problems. God is not silent. He is not far off. He is right beside us, cheering us on, encouraging us, believing and knowing that we will get through it, but only with His help. i feel like i can relate to that scene right now. i don’t know the end of my own story. i don’t know how God will bless me. but i cling to the promise that He made in Joshua 1:9 - “...for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” i believe Romans 8:28, where it says that all things work together for those who love God. i feel God’s presence even when nothing else seems real.

i pray the same for you. i ask God that He make His presence known in your life, more than ever before.

i was just thinking...