keep 'em coming

i wasn't about to post another whiney blog, but i thought of something today that i really wanted to share.

about 2 years ago, some of us chi alphans went to kentucky for the first world missions summit. it was an amazing trip, and i still remember the missionaries we met and the way that God moved during those days. the first service took place in the evening, and before it even started, we got there early to get good seats. we were sitting in the second row (right behind thomas trask, i might add) and i decided to use the time to pray for the summit. i began to pray that God would use me how He wanted to use me. i didn't hear an audible voice, but i did feel that God was calling me to work with chi alpha. sounds silly, especially since i was already doing that, at least to a certain extent. but this was different. God was calling me to take a more active approach in the ministry. the next morning, our group had gotten some drinks from the starbucks inside the convention center (isn't God good?) and then sat to plan our day. as we were looking at the different classes that were offered, lennon mentioned in an offhanded way, "if any of you heathens (he really does love us) want to work with chi alpha, go to this class."

i sat there for awhile, and then asked, "are you serious?" when he said yes, i told him about my experience the night before. that jump started my involvement in chi alpha. i was already involved, but after that, i was even more involved.

then student teaching and teaching happened. i had to quit my job to focus on student teaching, which was very necessary. but since then, i feel like i've lost part of my identity. i loved everything i was doing in chi alpha. and then it stopped, partly because i became a teacher.

i will never regret my choice to be a teacher. and i will never sacrifice my students' education because i'm having an identity crisis. but the past few days, i have wondered about my calling. did God forget about me? is this what He wants for me now? did i just imagine being called into the ministry?

in the midst of this wondering, i came across an incredible post by mark batterson, "released from and called to". (click here if you want to read it, but you gotta scroll down some. for some reason i couldn't link just that post.) it was so freeing. i believe with all my heart that right now i am to be a teacher. i love what i do. i love my students. i have lots of cute stories because of it. =) and if this is what God has for me, then i'm happy. but if i end up being more involved in the ministry, then it will happen in God's timing. and He will make me aware of that, especially through my circumstances. i can rest knowing that God has it all taken care of.