being hit over the head with a 2 x 4

if you've never heard how God called my dad to the ministry, you totally need to. i won't be the to tell you because frankly, i wouldn't do a good job. maybe i'll get him to put it on his blog, but it's much better to hear it in person.

anyway, one thing my dad always says when he's telling the story is, "i wish that i could say that we moved to san angelo because we had great faith. instead, God had to hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 to get my attention." while that statement was meant to be humorous, it always makes me think about what God may be trying to get me to do. my own head has bumps - many bumps. and there's a fresh one from yesterday.

i've been doing my Bible study on prayer, and i try to come to school with enough time to pray because i love praying at my desk. it was here i got the latest bump.

wednesday night, i found out that someone who i thought was my friend had been saying ugly things about me. it had to do with a certain decision i made a few months ago, and while it wasn't an easy decision, i knew from prayer that it was the right one. i knew some people might not agree with it, but i didn't expect people, especially this one person, to be so ugly about it. i was angry because that person has no idea why i made the decision that i did. he has never once asked about my situation. he has compared me to other people who are in totally different circumstances. and to make matters worse, he has told others about it in a way which could make them question my relationship with God. i was beyond angry - i was furious.

i went to sleep thinking about it. i woke up thinking about it. i got to school yesterday morning, opened my Bible, and saw the title for today's devotion:

"praying with forgiveness"

ouch. talk about a huge bump.

it doesn't matter that i think i'm right (i AM right, by the way!). it doesn't matter that i was portrayed as someone other than who i really am. Jesus has called me to forgive.

i remember a long time ago lennon was preaching on forgiveness. my situation at that time called me to forgive even though it was easier to hang on to my anger than to let go of it. but i clearly recall lennon saying that if you need to forgive someone, pray for them. don't pray that God would suddenly take them out of your life. but pray that God will bless them. pray that God will bring them into a relationship with Him if they are not already one of His children. pray for their well-being. God brought all of this to my mind as i was praying yesterday morning. He showed me that i would never truly have peace if i let this stuff bother me all the time instead of going to Him in prayer.