finally finished

it came. the day that i've been waiting for since august 27th finally arrived. and now it's over.

i'm no longer a student teacher. now i'm a college senior waiting for graduation and the real world. all of my hard work, all of my lesson planning, waking up at insane and ungodly hours (you know it's true), and spending 10 1/2 hours at the school for 15 weeks has culminated in this: i'm finally finished with college.

well, i've got a couple of things to turn in-nothing major. but as far as student teaching is concerned, i'm done. over. finished. kaput. you get it. i really thought i'd feel different than i do now. i thought i'd be incredibly excited. you know, the kind where you can't wipe the smile off my face. but again, my emotions surprised even me.

i woke up to a really weird feeling. it followed me all morning and into my certification test this afternoon. it occurred to me what it was when i was in the middle of answering a question on how to administer the TAKS test (i don't know-don't they have instructions for that kind of stuff...like when you're a real teacher?! geez, people...)

i miss my kids. i'm not going to see them every day. i'm not going to help them with their novels. i'm not going to hear their stories of what happened last night, last week, five years ago. i won't see them on a daily basis anymore. and that really stinks.

now i'm sitting at home wishing i could have just one more week. or just one more day to spend with them and hear them talk about how i assign book reports that are too hard. or just one more afternoon to watch them look at a math lesson like they've never seen multiplication before. or just five minutes for me to see them smile when i tell them that i think they're awesome.

and they are awesome. i hit the jackpot yesterday with the gifts that they gave me. but my favorite was a book that they made for me called a tribute to ms. hernandez. they made an acronym of my name, and i got teary-eyed reading it. and i laughed because those poor kids had a hard time coming up with a word for z. i got some doozies on that one. =)

teaching has affected me deeply and in ways that i never imagined. i love my kids. they taught me so much-lessons that i can't do justice to on a seemingly insignificant blog. the past 15 weeks have been a blessing-a touch from God that i can't get anywhere else.

because of this, i am excited to graduate. i'm ready to see what God has planned for me, because i sure don't know what that is yet. but i'm here. and i'm willing.

Lord, use me. and please keep me sane.