11:00 p.m.

still awake.

i gotta stop this.

an endless cycle

this whole week i have had trouble staying awake in school. like while i'm teaching. bad, bad teacher.

i've had coffee. i've popped the tab on a dr. pepper at 8:30 in the morning (it was a gift from one of my students, and she wanted me to drink it right then - i can't deprive her of that pleasure). i've tried my hardest to go to bed earlier than usual. yet here i sit, 10:36 p.m., blogging away as though i don't have to get up early tomorrow.

have i mentioned that i'm slow about a few things?

but tonight, there are several things on my mind. manipulative people, horrifying situations, missed opportunities - it's thoughts like these that make me even more aware of my need for a Savior. and it's thoughts like these that keep me on my knees.

sick

this thing in eldorado has me sick. completely and utterly sick.

what's worse is that my own students are painfully aware of this situation. i'm sure they're not the only ones who have an idea of what is going on. what do i say? how do i comfort?

Jesus, help us.

fellow seniors '02

i think that there is only one of you who actually reads this blog, but oh well.

remember that saying that mrs. a would always tell us?

"kindness is a virtue."

i was in her room the other day, and i saw the saying on her bulletin board. apparently none of the other classes have gotten past that first virtue either.

i don't feel so bad now.

because my mom said so...

apologies to all for my lack of posting. my mom has mentioned quite a few times this week that i have neglected to blog lately. sorry.

what to say, what to say...

first of all, last week was crazy. maybe if i had been paying attention to the school calendar, i would have realized that. but no, i went along, blissfully unaware of the super busy week i was going to have.

i should really start paying attention to stuff.

oh man...

live museum is over.

in case i haven't told you, live museum is an event that the 2nd and 3rd graders do every year. they each pick a notable person from history and write a short report about that person. then they have to memorize the report and they present a "live museum" for the public. it is usually planned the same night as the school's open house, so prospective families can see it too. my kids did so well! i'm very proud of them.

but, in usual bethany fashion, something embarrassing happened to me. i was standing near the door of the gym talking to some people. i vaguely noticed that there were two little boys standing next to me but i didn't really pay attention to what they were doing. i should have. one of the boys shoved the other one...right into me. my ankle turned. i fell.

did i mention that the gym was full? oh man...

but, like i said before, live museum is over. for that, i give thanks.

things i don't understand

we're in the computer lab right now. i've spent the last 10 minutes telling my class to keep their voices down. they wouldn't do it so i told them they couldn't talk at all. that was five minutes ago.

now i hear voices, and i know they're not in my head.

they don't know this yet, but this afternoon is not going to be fun for them. not listening to ms. hernandez is not a smart thing to do.